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Well, Actually I Sexed a Bed to Death…

I’d always approached my new lover’s bed with a practiced wariness given it was both an IKEA frame and a creaky relic from her college years. That particular day, however, I threw caution to the wind and we basically sexed it across the room and back. Well, halfway back — ‘cuz then came that fateful *CRACK* as we both tumbled sideways onto the floor.

I was absolutely mortified but she just laughed and looked rather impressed with our achievement. I called a friend who drove over in her truck and power-tooled it back together again (with a few extra supports) while smirking.

Life is short. Break the furniture.